Josh Gross Memorial

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Taliesin
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Re: Josh Gross Memorial

Post by Taliesin » Fri Jan 25, 2008 9:23 pm

Like I said before, I find myself moved to tell my stories about Josh; I almost have to. It's my way to remember the unique individual, the friend that he was and start feeling better about everything. I hope that some of you will read these, see some of his nuttiness in the stuff I remember, and smile.

My first meeting with Josh was actually as far removed from our later friendship as it could be. It was 1996 and I was playing Prince Imrahil in Dol Amroth, when a new squire named Arathis spent several weeks pestering me with blatantly dumb questions and trailing around behind the prince like Terrell Owens' publicist. I couldn't believe that anybody would seriously want to kiss my butt the way this kid did, and it was really annoying! Then as now, I hated sycophancy. I was caught on record saying "Arathis will be a knight of Dol Amroth over my dead body!"

Well, sure as shootin' it was all an act on his part. He was playing the dorky sycophant because someone had told him I had a massive ego and would be flattered by it. (I did have an ego, but I hated flattery.) Plus, and probably more importantly, he got a huge kick out of purposely being a doofus and watching my stressed-out attempts to be patient get more and more strained.

When we figured all this out and realized that we actually had far more in common, it was too late for me as Imrahil (slimy MUSH politicians had used my comment about Arathis to get me threatened with de-featuring, ironically, and I left the culture) but it proved the foundation of a longstanding friendship. He became Amarthion and proudly carried on the tradition of the noble house, Girithlin, that I'd founded as Thorondur. He wound up making it more or less his own before convincing me to come back to Gondor as Findamir.

This brings us to about 1998. Josh and I, together with Sirion/Indilzar, were about the only people in the entire world who thought Dol Amroth was a cool place to role-play, and we started getting a trifle militant about it. We all read "Peoples of Middle Earth" and campaigned to get Imrahil's sons added as feature characters in Gondor. (That effort finally paid off later that year when Josh was awarded-- and properly, because he deserved it more than anyone-- the role of Prince Elphir.)

Josh called us "The Triumvirate" (we also had a shared passion for the Latin language and ancient Roman history) and we essentially became our own little club. From that foundation, chivalrous roleplay really flourished in Elendor's Dol Amroth and would reach its apex in the early years of this century. Everyone who's ever played a Swan-Knight in Gondor, well, you can thank Josh Gross for that.

We talked about other stuff too, became about as close as I can imagine you can be with a friend online. He told me I was the older brother he never had and I called him the younger brother I should have had. I remember when he was graduating from college and agonizing about his friendship with a girl named Kate, who he thought he wanted to be more than friends with. I was going through the exact same thing with a girl who had the exact same name. We'd both log on smashed after nights out partying and stay up til 3AM bemoaning the Kates of the world together. "Drunk_Amarthion" became the stuff of Gondor legend and was alternately morose and hilarious. Different stuff began pulling us away from MUSHes within a couple years, and those late-night conversations became less common as our separate lives became richer outside of the online world, but they were always a bond. Even after neither one of us ended up with a Kate. :wink:

Josh and I got together in NYC with Joe (Sirion/Indilzar) for a belated meeting of The Triumvirate in May of 2001. I'll never forget that weekend; actually, telling my wife the story of it last night has really helped me start to cope with all this. I took the Acela from Boston to Penn Station one Saturday, got in about 1PM and walked across the street to where I'd booked a hotel suite. I'd only been there a few minutes when Josh called up on my cellphone and said he'd meet me downstairs in the bar. Naturally.

So there I was, the Aussie Rules football player and roughneck ex-linebacker walking into a Manhattan hotel bar looking for the whip-thin daredevil ski instructor. We'd both told one another what we looked like, seen pictures, so of course when I see this guy sipping a cold one at a barstool we both laugh almost simultaneously and say:

"Dude, you look nothing like I expected!"

From there the weirdness of actually -seeing- an online friend for the first time wore off quickly-- before the first beers were finished, as I recall-- and we set out to kill time until Joe got off work and would join us. Naturally, I suppose, we decided to go up to the tallest building in the city and see the world from its roof. The World Trade Center. When 9/11 hit, we were both online within hours and talking about that day and how surreal it all seemed-- WE'D BEEN THERE JUST FOUR MONTHS AGO. That was another touchstone, looking back on it now.

When we came down we settled in at an umbrella table in the WTC plaza and waited for Joe, who joined us from across the square by dashing, James Bond-style, in and out of niches all the way around the plaza borders until he settled in at our table. Almost immediately we started telling stories about the crazy people we'd all met on Elendor, jokes we'd played together and adventures we'd shared. Something about discussing this stuff over a cold beer with a couple of other outstandingly normal guys made it all seem so much more real.

We had dinner in some touristy boardwalky area-- South Street Pier, is that right?-- secured some 40s from a corner store in our hotel room for later, and then Joe took us out for a night on the town. We initially had plans to get smashed and chase girls, but after a few games of foosball at an NYU bar we left the girls alone and just kept talking. Closed the bar and kept talking. Drank our 40s and kept talking. There was a Felix Trinidad fight at the Garden that night, which was across the street from the hotel-- we dodged mobs of flag-waving Puerto Rican Trinidad fans in the hotel lobby to reach the elevator and stagger up to our suite.

The next afternoon, I had a train to catch and Josh (I think) was meeting his family. We laid out on the volcanic rocks in Central Park to catch some rays, watch some girls, and talk about the future. He was moving to San Francisco within the month and tried to talk me into moving there too. He was so full of enthusiasm-- he didn't know what he wanted to do, he just knew he wanted to do it in San Francisco. This would establish the pattern for us until the end, I guess.

By the time I made it out to SF, he was gone to Colorado. By the time I could afford to fly out to Breckenridge and get those free ski lessons he kept bugging me to take, he was joining the Navy. By the time he was on leave and telling me to meet him somewhere and party, I was getting married. We always planned to get together again one day. We had a lot of plans. I considered it an honor when he'd include me on those mass emails he'd send letting all his friends know when he was moving. It was so... unusual to have only met the guy once, to know that our best years as gamers were behind us, but to know that he was still a real friend (and thought of me the same way). He was a special kind of guy and I'll miss him a lot. That's all for now, but there'll be more.
Rich


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TetNak
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Re: Josh Gross Memorial

Post by TetNak » Fri Jan 25, 2008 9:32 pm

That's somewhat strange as I'll be in Breckenridge this weekend. I realized he was here somewhere (Here as in Colorado) but not Breck ..

I will drink a beer for him when I am there.

Tet
"Kings have no friends, only subjects and enemies."

- King Stannis Baratheon, First of His Name

Balerion
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Re: Josh Gross Memorial

Post by Balerion » Sat Jan 26, 2008 5:59 am

I just wanted to put a quick word in. I didn't know 5 very well, but after he became Elphir we somehow fell to talking about the game a fair bit, sharing certain gripes and certain conceptions about how things should be done. At some point, with his boundless enthusiasm, he convinced me to try Shadowrift despite it being an original theme game -- something I had entirely eschewed up to that point.

I believe I did a grand total of one RP scene -- no, make that 2, one for each of the characters I ended up having there, but I did write up some background material that I recall Palamon being quite keen on, and he was enthusiastic about it. He was particularly amused with the background I made for a knight from Cynnadol, whose native barony was almost entirely undistinguished, which apparently was a contrast to the typical background at the time.

After Shadowrift, we chatted less, but he'd occasionally say hello and we'd discuss what was going on. Usually it was about Elendor, but eventually it turned to my own game, Blood of Dragons. He was one of the people who would ask about it, and make it plain he was interested.

Some of you know the looooong, slow saga of the game coming to fruition; I'm never going to win a prize for speed. But once it was up and running, who should show up eventually but him? He made it most of the way through character generation (a rather more involved process than Elendor's), but between his increasingly pressing committments and not really settling on his character concept, he never did get through.

He still came on occasionally, and we'd talk. It always felt like speaking with someone you're very familiar with, a friend, who you only got to see every few months.

He was a good guy, and I know he'll be missed. My condolences to all the other people whose lives he brightened through knowing them.

Balerion

(aka Ran@Elendor, Serren and Iskander@Shadowrift)

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Re: Josh Gross Memorial

Post by Raphun » Sat Jan 26, 2008 7:22 am

I first got to know Josh when he was playing Amarthion and I was playing Thomas on Elendor. After we got to know each other he invited me to play on his MUSH Shadowrift. This was in 1997. I can say without a doubt the best times I've had RPing on any MUSH was on Shadowrift. This was due in large part to the influence of Josh/Palamon. He let me in on the creation of his country Durnalis. I got to write theme and create history. It was a very great time for me.

I can only thank Josh for all the time he spent with me there, and all the good times we had RPing as Palamon and Serbitar. They were Knight and Squire, a relationship that very much paralleled our real relationship. He was a mentor for me in the MUSHing world. Where he led I followed. I really miss you Josh!

When I found out that he had died, I was shocked and I felt like a small part of me had died along with him. While I may not have ever gotten to meet him I still consider him a very dear friend. Now I will never have the pleasure of getting to really meet Josh, just another regret that I wish I could change. My heart goes out to his family and close friends. You will all be in my prayers. Josh will be missed and we will continue to love him even though he is no longer with us!

Ranataur/Mordluin/Gandalf@Elendor and Serbitar/Raphun@Shadowrift and Bill RL

metal1718
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Re: Josh Gross Memorial

Post by metal1718 » Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:11 am

Unlike some of you, I didn't know Josh as someone I grew up with, nor did we have the opportunity to really become close friends. Instead, I knew him as 5, the often funny BFC who rarely made port in Dol Amroth, but when he did it was a time to gather and seek out +trains, excellent RP, and general fun.

Later, I knew him as the esteemed coder/ex-LA who made the GAD help files, including funny phrases like the automated-fail message: "Great work, you've already managed to screw up" (or something like that) when a GAD-help command was typed incorrectly, as well as many of the other Gondor help files.

And still later, I knew him as someone who created a legacy in Gondor, along with a few others, that still trickles down through RP. It makes me sad that I won't see 5 on <Gondor> again. I have great memories of talking to him about driving to California, politics, and past player's IC and OOC antics. It's hard to imagine someone's really gone, especially when they've made that much of an impression on a game.

The circumstances are depressing, but I am glad to see some old faces. -- Thanks for posting to the Gondor BB, Rondo. I think it'll be a help in alerting more old faces to this forum.

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Re: Josh Gross Memorial

Post by Bave » Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:27 pm

I first met Josh in Elendor late '96 (I think) though his mother who was my first RP/MUSH teacher.

Never met him personally, not till recently knew his real name, but I considered him quite close and was always happy when I'd hear from him after becoming inactive.

Lord's embrace, Pal. You'll always be one of close friends...

Kellinan
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Re: Josh Gross Memorial

Post by Kellinan » Sun Mar 09, 2008 12:45 am

I want to thank you all for sharing your thoughts regarding my brother.

This is the first time that I have tried to write anything regarding Josh, so forgive me if it is not my finest form. As most of you knew, Josh and I started MUSHing around the same time, though as usual, he was first. Having been born 2 years and 5 days after Josh it was my destiny to follow him in most everything, be it sports, skiing, the military, and yes, RPing and MUSHing.

Josh loved to create these worlds, and many of you have said that he loved to play the Paladin. All of these things are true, and in many ways I could not have said them better. I remember that Josh's one flaw, if he had one in his Role Play, was his inability to play the villain. Try as he might, his true strength lay in what he knew best - to be the white knight on a stallion, rushing in to save the day.

It is for this reason alone, that his decision to join the Navy did not surprise me. Many have postulated that he joined for the thrill of flying, and don't get me wrong, he certainly loved flying. If anyone "touched the face of God" it was him. But I think the truth is, Josh was through and through a hero. He might not even have realized it, but being an aviator in the Navy is about the closest thing we have to the white knight (he even had a white suit of "armor") in today's world. There is a picture of him posing with a ceremonial sword at a wedding that sums this point up more than anything.

Very few of us ever get the chance to transcend the gaming world and be the hero of our role playing fantasy. Our RL heroism is usually quieter, and more traditional - being a good father, mother, husband, wife, etc. Not so for Josh. He became what he portrayed on the MUSH, and in D&D - the 25th level paladin who rode a dragon (not surprisingly, the MH 53E is known as a Sea Dragon). He looked out for the weak, led by example, and loved every minute of it.

I think it was for this reason that I always chose to play not the villain, but the tortured good person - because I knew that Josh had the fairy tale hero market cornered. No one ever played the Paladin the way Josh did.

Although I've drifted away from the online gaming community, I still feel an affinity for all of you. Your tribute to my brother is touching, and shows the breadth of this good man's touch upon this world. I love and miss my brother dearly. I encourage you all to post when you can your memories of him. I know that reading these were a comfort to me.

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Re: Josh Gross Memorial

Post by Indilzar » Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:14 am

Hi All,

I found out this news today and I feel like I've been hit upside the head. Josh Gross, aka Amarthion, Elphir, Arathis or what have you was one of my best online friends during the MUSH time of my life. I'm just mortified that I didn't find this out sooner so I must apologize to Josh's family and the rest of you.

I've had the pleasure of meeting Josh on several occassions. Once at Amherst, a second time when me, him, and his brother went to Toronto for New Years -- 1997 I believe. Josh always was a kind hearted person and impossible not to like both IRL and online. I think his best quality was always his sense of humor, especially so when he would tease others.

I'm still in shock right now. I remember when he was going into the service and I still remember him from when we met and yes Rich, it always is the same -- you never look like what you think they look like. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm rambling... Please to my old MUSHing buddies, stay in touch.

Best,
Joe (Indilzar)
jwilliamsnyc@gmail.com
516-582-2022

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Vardaen
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Re: Josh Gross Memorial

Post by Vardaen » Fri May 02, 2008 6:42 pm

Josh's brother and his brother's wife (Nate "Kellinan" and Michelle) are working on a website for Josh. If you are interested in helping, I'm sure they could use some. Please go and take a look.

http://www.joshuawaltergross.com/home
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom." - Gandalf
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

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Re: Josh Gross Memorial

Post by Vardaen » Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:37 pm

Josh's old collage, Amherst recently posted a very nice story about him.


https://cms.amherst.edu/aboutamherst/ma ... ng/meaning
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom." - Gandalf
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

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