The princess and the pauper

This forum contains those "neverending stories" where one person writes a bit of a story and then another person picks it up where the previous left off. Should make for some interesting reading.
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Brennor
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The princess and the pauper

Post by Brennor » Wed Dec 03, 2003 2:06 pm

I'll get this one started off, real generic like:
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Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (or maybe not so far, depending on where you are when you read this) there lived a Princess. Not just any Princess though, for this was a special Princess. This special Princess grew up without many friends, since most people were afraid of her. The reason they were afraid of her wasn't why one would normally think. They were afraid of her because she was able to...
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Post by Vardaen » Wed Dec 03, 2003 4:29 pm

GM_Rick wrote:Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (or maybe not so far, depending on where you are when you read this) there lived a Princess. Not just any Princess though, for this was a special Princess. This special Princess grew up without many friends, since most people were afraid of her. The reason they were afraid of her wasn't why one would normally think. They were afraid of her because she was able to...
...lay down a lead hose of suppressing fire from her LX-450 Mechanized Battle Warthog (affectionately named Lil'Goober). The LX-450 MBW was a piece of modern machinery unlike the previous LX series. Lil'Goober carried a full compliment of surface to air missles, enough conventional ammo to level the Imperial Palace, and armor so thick none of the other battle bots could hope to pierce its hide. Not to mention the state of the art design. Lil'Goober was designed to stand on two legs, and looked just like a....
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom." - Gandalf
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

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Post by Brennor » Wed Dec 03, 2003 4:43 pm

...cross between a half-imploded mutant alligator, a row of corn, and a giant chocolate floating fortress, which she raised from its birth by a gnat. No wonder she scared all her would be friends away. Not only did she have the baddest Lil'Goober around, she whoopped up on all her little friends whenever she could. Today, just like any other day, she was marching Lil'Goober around the imperial grounds looking for another form of life to reduce to protoplasmic goo, when suddenly...
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Post by Jack » Tue Dec 09, 2003 7:34 pm

Lil'Goober was thrown aside by a blast like nothing ever experience before. As the Princess scrambled to regain control of the situation she realized that her battle bot was sitting at the bottom of a 20' crater. Finally getting the Goober back to the surface, the Princess was stunned to see....

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Post by Joni » Tue Dec 09, 2003 8:01 pm

but none other than Lil Goobers father: SonofaGun. Not only had Lil Goober never met his father, but the Princess held him in the highest contempt because...

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Post by Vardaen » Tue Dec 09, 2003 8:24 pm

...the giant robotic warmachine had once long ago 'acedentially' reduced the local 'Victoria's Secret' store to nothing but cinder and ash. The driver of the mech was thought to be the culprit, but after an investigation it was proven that the driver, known only by the handle of Dolt, had been at home playing a nice game of parcheesi with with his grandmother. It was at that investigation, that the kingdom first realized that these robots, these machine, had evolved into sentiant beings, cable of independent thought, with feelings, and needs, and wants of their own. I digress. The Princes, who shall rename nameless (for now) was really really pissed at SonofaGun for torching that Victoria's Secret store, since she had put a huge order on lay-a-way, and was waiting for the goods to arrive. It was months before the shipment was able to be rerouted to arrive at the palace. Ooops, sorry. Anyhow, the Princes looked from the edge of the crater, seated securely in Lil'Goober at SonofaGun, and shouted at the mamoth robot, "Why I aoughta...."
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom." - Gandalf
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

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Post by Brennor » Tue Dec 09, 2003 9:35 pm

... "moidawise-ya! nyuk nyuk nyuk..."

She shakes her head harshly trying to figure out who just took control of her mind. Finally she regains her composure and reassesses the situation. Yup, SunofaGun was still there, not too far away, its laser scopes currently sweeping the terrain looking for more targets. Slowly, they began to settle, one-by-one back on Lil'Goober. The princess sat there in her cockpit frustrated and quite angry because Lil'Goober wasn't responding to her commands. Lil'Goober had recognized SonofaGun and was mesmerized.

She yelled at Lil'Goober, "Move it, dammit! Don't ya see what's happening?" Nothing changed. "Blast it! If you don't move it, I'm gonna sick those garden gnomes on ya!" Finally Lil'Goober moved, which drew SonofaGun's full attention. The princess though, "Its about damn time!" SonofaGun began to close in.

Little did he know, but the Princess had arranged for quite a surprise should anyone come upon her, for she had hired those previously mentioned garden gnomes to...
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Post by Joni » Wed Dec 10, 2003 5:20 pm

to do the most distracting thing they could think of. Being garden gnomes they were not very smart and all they could think of was to do the can-can. So as they started up SonofaGun said "wait anything but the cancan!" Ever since...

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Post by Brennor » Thu Dec 11, 2003 10:56 pm

...SonofaGun had seen his mother attempt to do the can-can about 13 years ago, he hasn't been able to stand seeing it. You see, when his mother originally attempted to do the can-can, it was quite a sight. It is quite interesting to watch something roughly the size and the shape of the Death Star do the can-can. Regardless, she tried anyways.

To make a long story short, she ended up breaking her nose, an eyelash and several toenails attempting to do so. SonofaGun had never heard a more anguished wail as that night.

In fact, he heard the wail again as his computer banks replayed it over his loudspeaker system. Something about seeing the can-can performed always triggered these circuits. Anyways, the horrible, screeching wail echoed throughout the valley, causing...
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Post by Vardaen » Fri Dec 12, 2003 6:11 am

...the death of every dog, cat, and hamster. The high pitched wailing of SonofaGun was at just the right frequency to shatter the fragile minds of these poor animals. It also however caused the CD player to skip, you know the kind of skip I mean. Where the same 4 seconds of the song, the wrose part of the song mind you, replays itself over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Wow, you should see what the little dancing garden gnomes were doing, trying to dance to that. Well the princes was watching them as (SonofaGun's CPU fried) and she started to laugh. Her laugh, mixed with the skipping can-can music, and SonofaGun's death knell caused one of the worst....
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom." - Gandalf
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

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