Fellowship of the Dice

... the Great Gimp stopped suddenly. "Listen. You go over there," the wizard pointed to a strange shower, "And I am going over here ..." The Great Gimp once again pointed to something strange, but this time it was a door with flashing neon lights that read "Fun in the Bun."

The Great Gimp left quickly, and then ...

...the pauper entered the showed. There was only a single ring connected to a pull chain in the shower.

Pulling the chain caused the shower's door to close and a funny looking green goo to drop out of the nozzles. It took but a mere moment for this goo to cover our poor hero. It seemed that the goo slid and crawled over him in order to cover more quickly.

This obviously wasn't any normal green goo, this was...

The compound of robot fuel and biomatter from melted people!

After the Meltdown, the superheated, liquified remains of SonofaGun, Little Goober, and the Princess swirled down the crater and into the public sewer system. Now naturally, this kingdom cared little for its "lower income" citizens, and had redirected the main sewer exits to the entry point of the slums water supply.

Now our poor Goo covered hero was at first shocked by the mass of gelatinous mess covering him, but then again, it was bound to be cleaner than he was to start with, and so continued bathing in the Goop.

Unfortunately, Gimp in the next room over was preparing to take his "All Natural Performance Enhancing" pills, with of cup of water of course. But when he turned the faucet on...

... No water came out. "Dammit you dirty little peon! Quit using all the water. The Gimp jumped into the room to spot the Goo covered pauper.

"Ack!" he screamed, "We've been dupped!" The wizard's head jerks around looking in a panic. "Hurry before the ..."

.... "the Goo police show, my goo permit expired when i tried that thing with the prostitut and goo, was very unsanitary but sounded fun, and got caught with the goo." while running to the door the wizard yelled over his shoulder. "you wouldn't believe what the fine is for goo, let alone what this living stuff that is being shoveled out your bumm by the gnome would be."

so out of the tower they ran right into....

.. A large cave that seemed to be fit just in between the Horney Little Whore and the Card-board Box hotel. The caves floor was covered in Homeless bums, and dead or deing rats.


They continued into the cave to avoid the goo police and soon they became tired.


So covered in filth and goo (which is also filth) they made a camp fire and went to sleep


A loud noise woke them from their wonderful dreams of the queen of prostiutes covered in fecicies and green goo. To see the most terrible thing they have ever seen. It was ..........

.... The Gimp's old mother, 'Granny Someolschlong.'

The wizard screamed in terror, "Mother! Get out of my dream!" She repied, "This ain't a dream sonny, I am here! I am here for all your desires!"

Waking up in a sweat, the Gimp realized it was a dream. "I hate Freud," he said, standing and rousing the pauper. "We stink! Get up. We're going to the Huge Underwater Lake for a bath!"

The pauper followed the gimp, but the caught sight of....

...of a pack of Yellow Jedi Monkey. Yellow Jedi are worse than normal kind, and not as bad a Dark Jedi, but being Monkeys they earned that color title. A dozen Yellow Jedi Monkeys, with banana lightsabers decended on the group spraying everyone with their Force Urine powers. The golden showers of Mideclorines (or however you spell the dumbest thing ever) washed away the flith and goo on the group, but...

... they still stank! "Trading urine for B.O. just won't do!" the Gimp concluded. The Gimp, at this point, was getting a bit peeved with his situation. "I am the Great Gimp! And I demand some respect!" But he was in for a shock when ...

He was back handed by one of the yellow jedi monkeys like a pimp slaping a ho.

The Great Gimp was amazed and angered. He summoned up all the power he could muster waved his hand around pointed at the monkey that slapped him when....