Server Guy

This forum contains those "neverending stories" where one person writes a bit of a story and then another person picks it up where the previous left off. Should make for some interesting reading.
Joni
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Server Guy

Post by Joni » Thu Jul 29, 2004 12:07 pm

Once upon a time in a land not so far away at a time close to the present there lived a man who just wanted a freaking server for his website. He closed a deal for a good enough model for not so much money and was awaiting its arrival. When it arrived the boxes were beat up and torn. They looked like hell. This is the story of that poor machine and the diabolical postal service. Let us begin our story with the guy let us call him "Guy" closing a bid on Ebuy...

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Vardaen
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Post by Vardaen » Thu Jul 29, 2004 6:13 pm

...Poor Guy sat before his computer searching and searching for a server that he could use to run his favorite website. His current server was working alright, but was starting to show signs of slowing down (much like himself). After sifting through pages and pages of Ebuy stuff, including the adult section where he found himself a nice swing to put up in his "Dungeon of Love" at home, he finally came to a server. The server was not to big, not to small, but...
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom." - Gandalf
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

Joni
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Post by Joni » Thu Jul 29, 2004 7:19 pm

Just a wee bit too big for the standard postal service. They had to bring in the big postal workers and as everyone knows brain size is reversely proportionate to body size, they saw the fragil sticker and...

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TetNak
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Post by TetNak » Thu Jul 29, 2004 7:42 pm

... did what any self-respecting postal worker would do. Bashed it, smashed it, whacked it, smacked it, banged it, kicked it, punched it, munched it, boofed it, cursed it, threw it, pounded it, and gave it a BIG hug."

Then ...
"Kings have no friends, only subjects and enemies."

- King Stannis Baratheon, First of His Name

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Vardaen
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Post by Vardaen » Thu Jul 29, 2004 8:19 pm

...they really gave it once over! Throwing it out the window into the back of the truck, the server took a seven story fall with grace and dignity. After beign shipped from one town to the next the server found itself on the beaches of Key West, a pina collada in hand, and a extoic cabban girl with lotion just waiting for the rub down. As the tide came in and washed over its circuit boards and harddrives the good old postal people snatched the server away from its tropical paradise only to send it to the rainy fridged north of Upstate New York, but before it arrived...
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom." - Gandalf
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

Joni
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Post by Joni » Thu Jul 29, 2004 8:56 pm

It went to the armpit of New York. The Evil, the dreaded: New Jersey!

It was washed up amidst sewage and sewer rats. Banged up and longing for the cabbana girl, the server was saved from totally annhilation by...

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Brennor
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Post by Brennor » Fri Jul 30, 2004 1:12 am

... a kind-hearted postal worker. Well, kind hearted to friends and family. But, not to unsuspecting, innocent packages. No. To those, this particular postal worker looked out for their own interests. In this particular instance, our postal worker has just lost his last package to the Postal Olympics and so, was looking for new blood to join the team.

It just so happened that the innocent (not so) little server happened to be right there, right in front of the disgruntled employee. Our (not so) little was immediately enrolled in the Postal Olympics. The events that make up these olympics consist of...
[url=telnet://brennor.dyndns.org:1896]Akarian Dawn MUSH[/url]
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Vardaen
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Post by Vardaen » Fri Jul 30, 2004 1:27 am

...the Package Put, similar to the Shot Put but instead of aheavy metal ball that is thrown they use the package in question. Second event, the Elephant Jump, where said elephant jumps up and down as fast as it can on the package, which ever elephant tallies the most jump wins (there are 124 teams competing in this event). And the dreaded Ice Fishing event, where the package is used as bait in a 4 week long Ice Fishing Derby.

Our sweet (not so) little server took the silver! You should see the gold, it was a...
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom." - Gandalf
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

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TetNak
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Post by TetNak » Fri Jul 30, 2004 2:35 am

... mainframe someone was dumb enough to ship. The 'frame kick some serious ass!

Anyway, out sweet (not so) little server was very disheartened by his loss.

But the postal man felt no remorse. He just stuff the thing in a box, the same as earlier, and threw it into the back of his truck.

Then ...
"Kings have no friends, only subjects and enemies."

- King Stannis Baratheon, First of His Name

Joni
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Post by Joni » Fri Jul 30, 2004 11:51 am

They were headed straight for the final destination by way of the most round about route. Through Canada eh. This was a dangerous and treacherous journey, for the moutnies were hot on the trail of a similar package containing...

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