Counterspell!

This forum contains those "neverending stories" where one person writes a bit of a story and then another person picks it up where the previous left off. Should make for some interesting reading.
User avatar
Vardaen
Admin
Admin
Posts: 66394
Location: Miskatonic University
Title: Great Old One
User Class: Unshackled AI

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Vardaen » Wed Apr 16, 2008 9:49 pm

Dimble is chatting it up with his Weasel, petting it and stroking it, when an icicle spike comes hurlting toward him, "Ice? Is it winter out?" He glances up into the sky and shakes his head, "Doesn't look like winter, if it was winter there would be snow and sleighbells, and Winters Day!" He claps his hand, one holding the clump of dirt tightly as he does. "I love Winters Day, all those presents and the turnip and pineapple fruitcakes! Do you remember that one year that my Great Uncle Periwinkle Penderbolt on my father's side tried to use his Wonderous Contraption to dig out all the snow in the West Farthing and make a giant snow man? Oh that was a Wonderous Contraption, with all the flapping arms and turning gears, and that neat corkscrew auger thing in the front that chewed up the ice and poor Great Unkle Periwinkle. That snow man was really big and so pure white, until Periwinkle ruined it by getting it all covered in blood and bits of bone and flesh. That would have been the best Winters Day ever if he didn't go and get his blood all over everything. Oh well..." he then realizes that icicle is still coming at him, and about to hit him in the belly when he throws the handfull of dirt at the ice spike and over weights it so much that the flying object sinks and drops into the ground slamming into the earth digging a small trench right up to the feet of the gnome. "Oooo look, its plowed the ground for us already Weasel! Lets spray our seed into it." Dim starts tossing his seeds into the trench planting some unknown vegtable. The ice melts, watering the seeds and small plants start to grow almost instantly, rising larger and larger like so many vines of a bean stalk. "Hmmm, now those aren't turnips!" The magic bean stalks continue to grow taller and taller up into the air until they are twice the height of a man, very tall compared to little 3 foot Dimble. Weasel gives a squeek in happiness.
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom." - Gandalf
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

User avatar
Amaris
Level 10
Level 10
Posts: 868

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Amaris » Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:39 pm

"S.K.I.T.T.," Dirken speaks into his casio timepiece, "take care of that ice for me will you?, I believe the lasers are in order. "

"YES DIRKIN, INITIATING LASER Scoooreetch Scoorettch." A red laser beam shoots out of the side view mirror and vaporizes the icicle inadvertantly also watering the nearby turnip fields and treatening to drench Psyche's fairy wings.

Dirken walks over to the snappish Neutraldicitan, "Hey there fella! That wsn't very neutral of you!" grooving closer and closer to the misaligned mage.

"DIRKEN." His cherry onyx firebird squawks "IT'S A TRICK HIS NEUTRALITY IS A MASK, BE ALERT MICHAEL - I MEAN DIRKEN."

"Noted S.K.I.T.T., keep your scanners peeled!" "Old man!", Dirken bellows at Neutraldictian unneccessarilly, "You look tired, why don't you let me give you a ride home!" The crowd roars in delight and Dirken waves grandly.

S.K.I.T.T.'s passenger side door flies open and the high beams flash on and off in anticipation of the wizened mage getting driven off the show... err the ring.
7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea.

Deadman
Level 12
Level 12
Posts: 1089

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Deadman » Thu Apr 17, 2008 5:34 am

Neutraldictian glances at the Firebird with the awestruck expression all middle aged men have towards classic cars. "A ride...in that. Wow, I mean, could I really? Wow." As he walks towards it he pauses and seems to struggle against himself. "No! I can't allow extreme love of cars to overcome me! I need to simply acknowledge cars, accept their presence, and use them when practical." He turns around then looks back. "But it's a firebiiiiiiiiiird!" he whines.

Neutraldictian seems to weave back and forth and suddenly cracks in half. The two halves reshape, one into a handsome young lad who appears in his mid-twenties, the other an old wrinkled man with completely grey skin, eyes and hair. "Oh bother," says the gray man. "All that Mala this and Bene that made my biomorphological field unstable. I've split into Neutral and Dictian!"

Dictian, feeling better and younger than he has in years now that he's shed his adjective does a backflip. "Isn't it great?!"

Neutral scowls. "Get over here Dictian! We've got to recombine!"

"Heck no man! Look at me! I have a six pack! I haven't been this young since, well, since I took that youth potion a little while ago. But I didn't get to enjoy it, I spent my entire twenties, and thirties in a line!"

"Dictian. You're nothing without me! I am balance incarnate. I provide stability for your spells."

"Get lost old man me," says Dictian. "I'm taking a ride."

He jumps into the front seat and the car begins to drive him out of the ring. Dictian puts his foot on the accelerator and takes the wheel, speeding the car to 90 miles an hour, and not at an exit but at a solid wall.

S.K.I.T.T. stammers as they approach the wall "ACTIVATING COURSE CHANGE, UM, COURSE CHANGE. UH-OH. HE'S DEACTIVATED AUTODRIVE."

"Muahahahaha!" screams Dictian gleefully as they approach their doom. Two seconds before they crash he shouts out "Looplicious!"

A giant spiraling highway sprouts of the ground in front of them and into the air, sending the car up the side of the arena and through a bunch of spirals in the air overhead. After a bunch of impressive figure 8s and jumps the car falls back down, landing on its left wheels only, balances precariously for a moment and then lands back down on all four wheels.

"Nailed it!" says Dictian. The roadway overhead collapses into a rain of applesauce that rains down gently on everyone, perhaps from that magical instability that Neutral warned about.

User avatar
Amaris
Level 10
Level 10
Posts: 868

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Amaris » Thu Apr 17, 2008 9:25 am

"S.K.I.T.T.," Dirkin begins... "...-.. .. . .... ..---- ... .. -.-. .-.-."

"AUTODRIVE REACTIVATED - TAKING PASSENGER DRIVER TO NEAREST MOTEL 8. I HOPE THE ICE MACHINE IS BROKEN DON'T YOU DIRKIN
." Applesauce rains down on the shiny firebird and S.K.I.T.T.'s wipers turn on and the car zooms away with the more attractive half of the mage's in tow.

A dab of apple sauce clips the 'Trot in the ear and wilts his careful coiffure. "Damn it!' he curses, this could go in to syndication and without good hair... "Phillip!" he demands and a hairstylist/makeup-artist appears and begins to restyle the famous locks. Dirkin examines his image in the mirror and practices making kissy faces, "Goodbye to Dictian," he thinks.
7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea.

Deadman
Level 12
Level 12
Posts: 1089

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Deadman » Thu Apr 17, 2008 11:51 am

The neutral gray oldster continues screaming at Dictian to get back there, but the young man is happily ignoring him. Things are finally fun again! Although this awesome car seems to be taking him away from the match. Gotta take care of that.

"Hankus Pankus!" says Dictian. A motel 8 sprouts out of the ground inside the arena. S.K.I.T.T. following its current directive, banks a hard right and takes him there, to the closest motel 8. Dictian steps out of the car. "Thanks, talking wheels." S.K.I.T.T. realizes its been duped "HEY."

One of the motel room doors opens and a drop dead model gorgeous woman walks out. "Hi Dictian."

"Hey baby."

Suddenly another door opens and another model steps out. "Hi Dictian...who's she?" says the new model in regards to the first.
"Who am I? Who are you!" angrily replies the first.
Another door opens "Hi...who're they?"
"Who are you, slut?"
The process repeats itself until all 27 of the motel 8 room's are opened, and the dozens of supermodels are angrily catfighting over who Dictian is there to see.

"Yikes, I better get better at scheduling" says Dictian. Then he flashes a smile to the crowd. Clearly starting a giant catfight was his intent. He ducks into the safety of the soda machine room to grab a Coke while the catfight spills out from the motel, engulfing the other wizards in a flurry of swung purses, pulled hair, and hurled mascara.

User avatar
Vardaen
Admin
Admin
Posts: 66394
Location: Miskatonic University
Title: Great Old One
User Class: Unshackled AI

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Vardaen » Thu Apr 17, 2008 4:16 pm

Dimble Nickham Penderbolt-Glamourtoes is hay with his own Hoe, raking away in the garden with his magic bean stalk. He whistles a merry little tune until two of Dictian's Hos boil over in their cat fight into his garden. "Hey hey, you can't just grab my bean stalk!" He hurries over toward them with his gardaen implement in hand and starts to hit them over the knees and butt (he can't reach their heads). "This won't do, this won't do at all! Its like Uncle Spanky always says, 'Let sleeping cats lie, but disintegrate fighting pussies.'" The little gnomish wizard hits one of the girls in the butt and shouts, "Ho-be-gone!" And the man just turns into powdery dust, her disentegrated body dust turned into fertilizer for the little fellows garden. He swings again at the other woman, "Hoe-Be-Gone!" And his garden rake vanishes, turning into dirt. "Oh by Grumblebelly's Double User Toilet I 've done it again!" Accidently the gnome has disentrigrated the wrong Ho(e). The supermodel, without an enemy turns on the cute little Dimble and gives a long loud "Awwwwww, aren't you so cute! I could just sweeze you."

Dimble and his Weasel are grabbed up by the supdermodel and held close and tight against her bussom as she craddles the cute little fellow. Maybe this isn't so bad!
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom." - Gandalf
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

Deadman
Level 12
Level 12
Posts: 1089

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Deadman » Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:42 pm

The model cradling Dimble turns into a saguro cactus, which means it'll be tightly pressing him with its spiky arms into its spiky body. Two models clawing each other near Dirken turn into a bull seal and a fire hydrant. The animal ignores the metal object and instead, driven by instinct, turns to attack Dirken. Psyche is no better off. A model near her turns into a cylinder of superheated lemonade, which not being in a container immediately collapses, scalding two models and sending a spray of the burning beverage at the pixie.

Indeed, all across the arena the models are gradually transforming into all sorts of random creatures and objects. The instability of Dictian's spells is extreme to put it lightly.

Indeed even Dictian stops sipping his Coke as he notices an odd change happening to the walls of the Motel 8. The entire building transforms to be made out of playing cards.

"Uh-oh," says Dictian as he dives out of the structure, just before a hurled tube of lipstick collapses the whole motel. Playing cards flutter around the field.

User avatar
Amaris
Level 10
Level 10
Posts: 868

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Amaris » Fri Apr 18, 2008 9:06 pm

"I always like to help out the ladies..." Dirkin says aloud. "WWF" he enunciates and 4 of the hottest crazy supermodels find themselves bound by ropes in a large rectangular arena. "S.K.I.T.T., would you do the honors?" he asks.

S.K.I.T.T. turns to a 180, rear wheels spinning the wet earth from Dimble's field is spat out into the newly created ring. Rush's "Tom Sawyer" blares from the speakers as Dirkin settles in to watch the match.

"Nothing like a good mud wrestling match to lighten this joint up!" Dirkin continues, "Ladies, the winner gets to take that travelocity gnome like creature home!" A couple of Aces float down and land on S.K.I.T.T.'s windshield.
7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea.

User avatar
Vardaen
Admin
Admin
Posts: 66394
Location: Miskatonic University
Title: Great Old One
User Class: Unshackled AI

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Vardaen » Fri Apr 18, 2008 9:37 pm

"Cactus! I love Cactus!" Dimble hugs the spikey plant right back until he starts getting pricked, "Wait a minute, its Cactus Jucie I love, this is just painful!" He lets out a wailing OUCH! and kicks off from the plant landing on his back in the wet mud of his magic bea stalk field. That is until the car starts kicking up dirt and mud and one crazy little gnome.

Dimble is flung into the ring along with all the mud, covered head to toe, "My clothing! Oh if mother sees how dirty I've gotten she'll spank me, and not like she spanks father, he seems to like it, no no no. It would hurt and then she'll make we wash all my clothes without even using a Presdigitation spell!" He's face down in the ring covered in mud and about to get crushed by wrestling super modles but he keeps going on about his clothing. "Oooo my boots! My boots are all muddy too! Well that's it, I've had about enough of this." He stnds up flinging mud out at the windshield of the car muttering another of his dwimeors. "Presto, ChangeO" *Ding-Ding*, his muddy clothing is replaced by a brand new clean set of garments. Unforunately for Dimble was day dreaming just at the wrong moment, thinking back to the last time he was visiting his Unckle Spanky in prison, "Boy he sure liked going to prison, not sure why, always said there were the nicest fellows in there, even if they were crooks." His new outfit looks like a prisoner's suit, and old school black and white striped shirt, and a pair of black pants. "Well lets get this over with..." his comment isn't directed at anyone, but it sure seems like the little Referee Gnome has started the match offically.
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom." - Gandalf
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

Deadman
Level 12
Level 12
Posts: 1089

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Deadman » Sat Apr 19, 2008 12:34 am

"Nice!" says Dictian, sitting down a plush chair that until recently was a model to watch the mud wrestling match. He puts his legs on another model that became a foot rest.

On the other hand Neutral scowls at this. "This mud wrestling is utterly degrading to women. Perhaps you should read more publications by prominent feminists. Equalia Rightsia!""

A massive mound of women's studies textbooks appears in the air above each other mage to fall and crush them, even over Dictian.

Post Reply