Counterspell!

This forum contains those "neverending stories" where one person writes a bit of a story and then another person picks it up where the previous left off. Should make for some interesting reading.
User avatar
Amaris
Level 10
Level 10
Posts: 868

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Amaris » Sat Apr 19, 2008 12:55 am

"Ladies,could you handle this one for me?" Dirkin asks, cocking an eybrow and squinting slightly. "Babewatch!"

Three buxom women dressed in skimpy red bathing suits pop into existence and execute adroit gymnastic moves that result in a pyramid of women framing the 'Trot, each one is balancing a stack of books in her free hand(s).

The mud pit wrestling is degenerating slowly as one of the supermodels has turned into an eel which is sending out random electrical shocks to the other wrestlers.

S.K.I.T.T. squirt's washer fluid on the mud that offends his windshield. A couple of beeps emit from the dashboard and the side view mirror laser shoots out to nip Dimble on the bottom.
7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea.

User avatar
Vardaen
Admin
Admin
Posts: 66380
Location: Miskatonic University
Title: Great Old One
User Class: Unshackled AI

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Vardaen » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:11 pm

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeow!"

The little gnome is in the mud that is being hit by the electric eel until the massive stacks of books fall right atop of him burrying him under their heavy unread pages. The pile of books however forms a nice wall against the laser beam that is about to hit Dimble.

*Fooosh*

The laser ignites the books, and flame and smoke begin to rise up from the pile. A muffled cry is herd under the books, then the whole thing shifts and collapses in on the mud ring. Crawling out from under the Square Circle comes Dimble, muddy, and bruised, but alive. The pile of sunken books is now a bonfire of Feminist Propaganda. "Book burning, oh my! If my Aunty Gurdy ever say this she would have a fit, she also would probably throw her brazier in there along with the books. She is ever the liberal thinking woman gnome. It was her, you know, that started the Association of Gnomish Emancipaters, otherwise known as AGE, of course that's the Old AGE, and most of its members are dead now, tragic fly fishing accident." He shakes his head in dispair, smoke drifts into his nose, "Oh right where was I, bonfire. I bet the ladies aren't going to like the fact that 'Trott's car has started a book burning rally." Dimble blows the whistle in his mouth, "Ladies, that's your new foe." He points at The Trott hopefully enraging the woman to attack the hairy chested Dirken.
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom." - Gandalf
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

DoomulusPrime
Level 12
Level 12
Posts: 1005

Re: Counterspell!

Post by DoomulusPrime » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:49 pm

Amid the utter and complete chaos that has taken place in the arena, J. Albert Dastardly awaits the fiery kiss of death that will surely take place as the great Neutraldictian's unstoppable fireball careens unerringly into... ohwait. No. The Crisp Convoker extends his wand, and the fireball halts obediently, much like any third level spell would in the presence of a true Dark and Spooky Master of the Arcane. "Nya-ha!" The Conjurer Knave exclaims, "It does seem apparent that we DO like our simple elemental spells, my erstwhile moppets! Allow J. Albert Dastardly to demonstrate how one properly goes about wielding the forces elementacious!

Holding the ball of Elemental Flame steady with his wand, he gestures to the right, towards the Ice Blast heading to Psyche and the remnants of the Earth spell that the diminutive rodent-like Thing that recently entered the Arena cast. The two raw elements stop their motion, and surge into the seething depths of the Fireball, creating a steaming, molten morass of churning energy. "And now for the last of it - luckily, ha-ha, Air is plentiful these days!" One final gesture, and a vortex of air sucks itself into the sphere of elemental energies that J. Albert Dastardly has constructed. "Feast upon THIS, my foes!", he says as he launches the spinning Elemental Vortex onto the flaming pile of Feminist Propaganda...

The entire swirl of element suddenly explodes into a Rift to the Elemental Planes themselves! The churning fury screams with the primal energies of a thousand worlds, and something brown and furious hurls itself out onto the Arena floor, crushing the cheap Motel underneath it. The arena fighters look up, and see a gigantic antique Dinner Table. Each of its legs is sheathed in a nimbus of one of the Core Elements, and rend the very floor of the arena with the energies therein. The Elemental Portal closes, and the great summoned thing growls with a rage that causes all males in the arena audience to quake with fear....

"Behold! The raw energies of your feeble elemental Fire, Earth, and Water spells, combined with Air, More Fire, and Feminist Ramblings, has called forth the Periodic Table of the Elements! Tis a mighty beast, with the fury of four greater elementals, cursed in ancient times with permanent PMS! It also, despises being objectified, and because it is, in essence, an object, oh man you had better watch out now! Speaking of which, Invisibility!"

J. Albert Dastardly quickly and invisibly clears the area, knowing that even his powers may not be enough to take care of this one.

Deadman
Level 12
Level 12
Posts: 1089

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Deadman » Tue Apr 22, 2008 12:44 am

Dictian gasps. "That is the most wicked table I have ever seen! I have to have it! BACHELORIE KICKASSIA PADICUS!"

The charred and ashy area that was once the mud wrestling pit reshapes. A plush leather couch and arm chair rises from the ground, followed by giant flat screen TV, an immense stereo system, a pool table, and a bar. The giant table trots to become part of this ensemble, even though it dwarfs all the items except the TV and stereo.

If Dictian was creating a sweet studio apartment the table is a bit of a mystery since its far too high to eat at. Then suddenly the last of the spell kicks in and a few really high stools appear around the table.

"Perfect. Now let me just see if any of those models are still human so I can invite her over.

User avatar
Amaris
Level 10
Level 10
Posts: 868

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Amaris » Wed Apr 23, 2008 9:08 am

"Ladies," Dirken says, smiling winningly with his hands up, "Really now, who needs books when we can take long jogs on the beach, throw back a couple of fuzzy navels, and snuggle in front of a bonfire?"

"Sailing" by Chris Cross blares out of S.K.I.T.T.'s speakers and the 4 women practically melt before the 'Trot's charm, suddenly one morphs into a horny toad and hops away. "More time with the three of you beauties!" Dirkin notes. He turns them away from the well furnished pad Dicitan has created, and chants quickly... "MAki laki hiny ho" Sand swirls maddingly about all of the other players - and is capable of revealing Dastardly's invisible form. THe sand converges at the northwest corner of the ring. "Next there shall be the ocean" Dirkin sayeth.
7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea.

User avatar
Vardaen
Admin
Admin
Posts: 66380
Location: Miskatonic University
Title: Great Old One
User Class: Unshackled AI

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Vardaen » Wed Apr 23, 2008 11:26 pm

Dimble gives up on the Trott and the ladies, content to let SKITT and the egomaniac have the woman and his beach. It is the Periodic Table of Elements (possibly the best word play yet in this game!) that draws his attention.

Plain and simple, Dimble's eyes bug out and he curses, not some ridiculous gnomish curse, but a true and honest curse. "Oh fuck!" Dimble dives for cover among his magic bean stalks, Weasel ducking back into his backpack to hide. Luckily for the gnome he's a master of hidding, and cowering, and generally avoiding becoming a target when the big guys are out. He weaves a quick shadow spell, making his hiding hole dark and shadowy (what else). Teeth chattering he hides prefectly, but his silentness is in questions. "Oh Dimble, now you did it, now you did it, if that thing catches wind of you, or any other part of you, you are doomed. I mean sure that is a stylish armchair but the table won't be slowed for long, espcially not if you do this." He stick a hand out of the shadows and creates a small child atop one of the stools, a pack of Crayola Cranons (tm) in hand, who starts going to town drawing a picture of his family...without any paper right on top of the table.
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom." - Gandalf
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

DoomulusPrime
Level 12
Level 12
Posts: 1005

Re: Counterspell!

Post by DoomulusPrime » Fri Apr 25, 2008 1:38 am

"Flatulence and buggery!", cries the Mage Uncouth as his invisibility is compromised by the whirling sandstorm. He dives for cover as the Periodic Table of the Elements lets out a crazed roar of fury at being the subject of Objectification by the dodgy bachelors in the arena. It rears up on its Fire and Water legs, and stomps down with its Earth and Air legs. The magical resonance from the giant table legs crashing down travel in a cone towards the impromptu beach party connived by the 'Trott, blasting a hole through Dictian's Sweet Pad. The sandstorm is promptly enhanced through the mass diffusion of Ikea particles throughout.

The force of the magical energy released does not stop there, however, oh no. The Wave of force washes over the Trott and his friends. The massive Earth and Air dweomer, combined with the feminist energies of the Table work a horrible transmutation upon the three remaining Hot Babes. At once, bodily hair begins to come out from all the places body hair does so, peppering the womens' legs with a thin, hirsute coating, as well as causing unruly tufts of the stuff to sprout from under their armpits. The weight of two full braless decades lands upon their mammaries, sinking them down to their lower torsos in a matter of seconds. Lastly (and perhaps mercifully), their skimpy bathing suits morph into frumpy clothing consisting of a tye-dyed hippie mumu on the first transmutee, camouflage shorts and a Che Guevara t-shirt on the second, and a pair of mens' cut blue jeans and a sleeveless wifebeater on the third. One of them produces a pack of clove cigarettes and starts to pass them around. Another looks towards the Trott, sneers, and says, "So what's it like to be a fascist pig then?"

The third takes out a Stungun from her jeans pocket. The newly liberated Dire Womyn appear ready to throw a Volt party for their former admirer...

User avatar
Amaris
Level 10
Level 10
Posts: 868

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Amaris » Fri Apr 25, 2008 10:14 am

"Lets not get ugly about this ladies," the Trot stutters backing away. His right Casioed TM arm cautiously is raising up almost imperceptably for S.K.I.T.T. to enhance his graceful exit. "At least I'm doing work around here - not like that dude sitting on his butt in front of the T.V.!," he points to Dictian, "Is that Hippies Gone Wild he's watching? Unbelievable... because I though that the Purina Dog show was on right now."

He has distracted the angered amazonians, and talk of which breed should win the competition sparks. The Periodic Table of the Elements has become a dervish of energy spilling out molecular weight and mass irregularly all over the field. S.K.I.T.T.'s hood just got scratched with a nick from cadmium, and there is a scent of hydrocarbons in the air. The 'Trot's hairstyle becomes staticky from all of the energy in the hair and as S.K.I.T.T. peels close to him he makes a running jump into the car.

Angered, and quite a bit irrational, the 'Trot decides to poke at the less than well adjusted mage who really ruined for everyone. There was going to be a beach and babes, soon they would have the grill started and then the BBQ. He thinks about the least liked object from the Victorian age, and decides it could be the chastity belt. He spends another minute wondering if it is from the Victorian era - and shakes his head - who cares?

"Lockem-up sheriff!" he chimes, and quickly a heavy iron chastity belt materializes opened and ready to screw onto J. Albert Dastardly's lower half.
7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea.

Deadman
Level 12
Level 12
Posts: 1089

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Deadman » Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:47 pm

"My apartment! And it was about to become beach front property! I'll get you for this," vows Dictian against the various present wizards.

Suddenly the couch Dictian sits on, the sole surviving part of his sweet pad, collapses into a mound of packing peanuts. Clearly his studio wouldn't have survived much longer on its own anyway.

Dictian stands up, static cling leaving dozens of styrofoam peanuts stuck to his body. "Bah."

Neutral is pleased. "Dictian, you're already grumbling like an old man. Soon we will be one again. Enough of this youthful rebellion, no need to be fancy. Let's just take care of these three with some classic attack spells."

He gestures and fires a bolt of chain lightning at Dimble. If it strikes Dimble it should continue to Dastardly, and finally jump to fry S.K.I.T.T.'s circuits and electrocute its passenger.

User avatar
Vardaen
Admin
Admin
Posts: 66380
Location: Miskatonic University
Title: Great Old One
User Class: Unshackled AI

Re: Counterspell!

Post by Vardaen » Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:23 pm

Dimble thanks his lucky stars that he has enough levels in rogue to make an Evasion roll right out of the way, the Lightening Bolt continues on past him and Weasel at full strength at Dastardly. "Hey! I didn't ruin it, its Dastardly fault!" The little gnome with a Weasel in his backpack joins the attack on the man who's ruined the party and the women. A classic taunting, "Yo! J Alby! Your moma's so ugly, she makes these ladies look like supermodels!" He gnome's magical attacks strikes at the ego, and taunts the mage to fight in Mano E Gnomo in a battle of fisticufs, ignoring all other things. "Last night when I was walking past your moma's house I saw that even the Trott wouldn't lay a hand on here, she dat ugly!" His little accient is changed, but that's just one more annoyance.
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom." - Gandalf
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

Post Reply