Gondor Press Secretary

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Grimbold
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Re: Gondor Press Secretary

Post by Grimbold » Tue May 26, 2009 10:25 pm

A: In reality they are our allies come to aid us in great need. We have made sure to bribe the easterlings and southrons to help us and not Sauron.

B: I heard rumors of an army of dead men marching to attack our beloved city. What can you say on that topic?

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Re: Gondor Press Secretary

Post by 3rd-I » Wed May 27, 2009 1:32 am

A: I would first like to point out how offensive the term "dead" can be to some people. Under new government guidelines Gondor's officially sanctioned term is "living impaired".

To answer your question however, these are also allies of ours, not our enemies. Aren't we a popular bunch eh? It's a wonder there's anyone left to fight! I, for one, would like to take this opportunity to welcome our new "living impaired" allies.

Q: Steward Denethor has rarely been seen in public in recent days. The latest rumours suggest he was last seen disappearing into the family tomb with his son's body, a gallon of oil, and several large bundles of firewood. Care to comment?

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Re: Gondor Press Secretary

Post by Grimbold » Wed May 27, 2009 9:19 am

A: Denethor has just cleared away some of the older tombs as they are not needed anymore, and constructed a large barbecue site. He wants to try it out with his closest of kin before he will open it for public use. And no, Faramir was not dead or wounded, just sleeping so he can fight better later.

Q: Some people say that a certain person is travelling towards us claiming to be some sort of king. What will be the Steward's reaction to this issue?

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Re: Gondor Press Secretary

Post by 3rd-I » Wed May 27, 2009 10:44 am

A: HE WILL NOT BOW TO THIS RANGER FROM THE NORTH!

He might invite him over for tea and a game of chess though. Just as long as he doesn't get any ideas.


Q: It is said that Sauron is served by nine immortal wraiths, mounted on dark winged steeds. Do we posses any weapons suitable to meet this aerial threat?

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Re: Gondor Press Secretary

Post by Vardaen » Wed May 27, 2009 5:21 pm

A: In fact we just finished devlopment of a Hairy Toed Child Tosser (tm) and controlled by a squad of Chainmail Bikini Bridage to take down these annoying oversided pisgons. We also have doubled the street cleaner forces to clean up the mess these dark winged birds make after eating.

Q: Its said that Ithildur's Bane is heading right to Sauron's main stronghold and that if the Dark Lord gets his grubby little hands on it, it could be disasterous for the war effort. What do you plan to do about it!

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Re: Gondor Press Secretary

Post by Deadman » Wed May 27, 2009 7:24 pm

A: Isildur's bane was actually chocolate cake, and in his later years he ballooned up several pants sizes because of it. It is why his backside proved so easy a target for the orcs. So when you say that his bane is heading towards Bara-dur this is troubling to me because that would be providing succor to the enemy in a time of war. We will prosecute anyone bringing cake to Sauron.

Q: Gandalf is rallying the troops, and seems to be acting without aid from the government. Why is the foreign wizard not being aided by Theoden?

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