Diplomacy 3 - Press center
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Re: Diplomacy 3
...And the stone of the earth and the wind in the sky bowed before the wisdom of the Ancient One...
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Re: Diplomacy 3
The Moscow Sun
Russian Relief Fleets Dispatched to Rumania
Our Tzar, after hearing of the plight of the Rumanian people due to a massive crop blight, has dispatched an entire fleet laden with food to give aid to our neighbors to the southwest. The fleet, composed of the fastest ships in the Russian Navy, have been laden with thousands of tons of potatoes, beets, wheat, and pork, as well as a hefty supply of vodka. All in an effort to ease the suffering of the Rumanian populace. The Rumanian Government has sent a statement to the Imperial palace thanking the Tzar for his magnanamous actions, and ethical treatment of their starving people. The letter also contained words of scorn for the Austrian leadership, who pledged support but never sent it instead choosing to bully the small nation of Serbia by marching an army into their largely unprepared and defenseless lands.
Russian Relief Fleets Dispatched to Rumania
Our Tzar, after hearing of the plight of the Rumanian people due to a massive crop blight, has dispatched an entire fleet laden with food to give aid to our neighbors to the southwest. The fleet, composed of the fastest ships in the Russian Navy, have been laden with thousands of tons of potatoes, beets, wheat, and pork, as well as a hefty supply of vodka. All in an effort to ease the suffering of the Rumanian populace. The Rumanian Government has sent a statement to the Imperial palace thanking the Tzar for his magnanamous actions, and ethical treatment of their starving people. The letter also contained words of scorn for the Austrian leadership, who pledged support but never sent it instead choosing to bully the small nation of Serbia by marching an army into their largely unprepared and defenseless lands.
Here, you hold this jar of acid and the rattlesnake. I've got to hop on the unicycle and get this chainsaw revved up.
- Vardaen
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Re: Diplomacy 3
Paris Gazette
France withdrawls from world stage.
The French leaders, President Emile Loubet and Premier Ministre René Waldeck Rosseau who neither attended Turkey's so called peace summit and who were in fact holding a large public speech in the famous square Place de la Bastille, and were seen by some 10,000 French patriots at the same time as Turkey's supposed summit spoke out. They have made it clear that France shall not participate in the blatant slander and out right lies the other nations seem to have begun to do. "We withdraw from the mockery that foreign nations have made the press into these days."
France withdrawls from world stage.
The French leaders, President Emile Loubet and Premier Ministre René Waldeck Rosseau who neither attended Turkey's so called peace summit and who were in fact holding a large public speech in the famous square Place de la Bastille, and were seen by some 10,000 French patriots at the same time as Turkey's supposed summit spoke out. They have made it clear that France shall not participate in the blatant slander and out right lies the other nations seem to have begun to do. "We withdraw from the mockery that foreign nations have made the press into these days."
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom." - Gandalf
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring
J.R.R. Tolkien, Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring
- Hayabusa
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Re: Diplomacy 3
Frankfurter Rundschau
German Chancellor pleased by French reactions
Sources inside the Reichstag report that Chancellor Stahlstark seems to be delighted by the French cowards who are to afraid to enter the stage. "At least they'll stop ralking now. If they stopped breathing too all of Europe would applaud in respect," the Minister of Beer said during a meeting after standing ovations by the whole parliament. Some people say that it was all the adulterate wine that forced the French to shut up as wine and bread is no longer available on the markets in the cities near the border to France.
While there has been even more rumors about the French weaklings German troops were reloacted along the border to the East and the West as a reaction to the sudden troop movements on the continent.
German Chancellor pleased by French reactions
Sources inside the Reichstag report that Chancellor Stahlstark seems to be delighted by the French cowards who are to afraid to enter the stage. "At least they'll stop ralking now. If they stopped breathing too all of Europe would applaud in respect," the Minister of Beer said during a meeting after standing ovations by the whole parliament. Some people say that it was all the adulterate wine that forced the French to shut up as wine and bread is no longer available on the markets in the cities near the border to France.
While there has been even more rumors about the French weaklings German troops were reloacted along the border to the East and the West as a reaction to the sudden troop movements on the continent.
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."
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Re: Diplomacy 3
"TURKISH TRIBUNE"
Turkish Triumph
Spokesmen for our beloved Emir announced today our military's glorious triumph over the French born thugee's in Bulgaria. Bulgarian peasants lined the three dirt roads leading to their capitol, as Turkey's 15,000 troops hunted down the remnants of the now fleeing "Le Frog" members. Fearing for the well being of the southern Balkan states, our illustrious and benevolent leader has promised to expand his military presence throughout the region within the next twelve months to insure their safety...
In other news Emir Tootsie Baba announced that possible border disputes with Russia may result in hostilities. Disputes derived from Black Sea salt mining operations turned heated as russian fleet blocks Rumania sea ports from turkish imports...
Spokesmen for our beloved Emir announced today our military's glorious triumph over the French born thugee's in Bulgaria. Bulgarian peasants lined the three dirt roads leading to their capitol, as Turkey's 15,000 troops hunted down the remnants of the now fleeing "Le Frog" members. Fearing for the well being of the southern Balkan states, our illustrious and benevolent leader has promised to expand his military presence throughout the region within the next twelve months to insure their safety...
In other news Emir Tootsie Baba announced that possible border disputes with Russia may result in hostilities. Disputes derived from Black Sea salt mining operations turned heated as russian fleet blocks Rumania sea ports from turkish imports...
Last edited by MadVlat on Thu Oct 27, 2011 1:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
...And the stone of the earth and the wind in the sky bowed before the wisdom of the Ancient One...
- Amaris
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Re: Diplomacy 3
Der National Enquirer
1901 Montag 15. März Ghostly Goethe gesichtet in lokalen Sudhaus, behauptete er Zeugen "put wieder ein paar" und dann verschwunden!
Lotte Lehman claims "ich zwanzig Kilo abgenommen auf Apfelstrudel Diät".
Russische Zar in skandalösen Affäre mit bärtigen Dame aus der Berliner Circus am österreichischen Gala gefangen.
Deutsch Beamten bewegen Kanzleramt zu Herrentoilette wie ein Witz.
Präsident Emile Loubet und Premier Ministre René Waldeck Rousseau gefangen in "Lip Lock" an der Place de la Bastille.
Türkische Emit Tootsie Baba glaubte an Verschwörungstheorien mit dem russischen Zaren werden, zeigt bärtige Dame alle.
Englands neuer Premierminister Neville Baldwin fashion faux pas bei Einweihung.
1901 Montag 15. März Ghostly Goethe gesichtet in lokalen Sudhaus, behauptete er Zeugen "put wieder ein paar" und dann verschwunden!
Lotte Lehman claims "ich zwanzig Kilo abgenommen auf Apfelstrudel Diät".
Russische Zar in skandalösen Affäre mit bärtigen Dame aus der Berliner Circus am österreichischen Gala gefangen.
Deutsch Beamten bewegen Kanzleramt zu Herrentoilette wie ein Witz.
Präsident Emile Loubet und Premier Ministre René Waldeck Rousseau gefangen in "Lip Lock" an der Place de la Bastille.
Türkische Emit Tootsie Baba glaubte an Verschwörungstheorien mit dem russischen Zaren werden, zeigt bärtige Dame alle.
Englands neuer Premierminister Neville Baldwin fashion faux pas bei Einweihung.
7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea.
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Re: Diplomacy 3
The St. Petersburg Star
French Dictator's Mother Sends Tzar Letter
Today, the Imperial Palace received a letter from the French Dictator's mother. The Tzar has seen fit to release this letter to the Russian public and the world at large in light of the recent French withdrawal from the world stage. He has also given us this statement; "I must say that this move was rather expected, the French are notorious cowards. How could they possibly expect to stand up to the might of the Russian public's ridicule and disdain." He is also quoted as saying; "The French attempts at harrasment and censorship have not gone unnoticed and a state of war has been declared on the nation of crappy wine, stale bread, and women with hairy armpits." Now without further ado, the letter sent to the Tzar:
My dearest Tzar,
As you well know, my son is a delicate boy. He is not up to trading insults with fine examples of manhood such as yourself. After yours and Turkey's various light-handed jibes were published in your nations newspapers, he immediately took to his room. He has not come out for 12 hours and keeps calling the Servants for more kleenex and chocolate ice cream. I know you have in prior correspondance told him that it is all just in the spirit of fun, but he is far too sensitive to bear even the lightest of jabs. I know you did not mean to hurt his feelings but if you could kindly stop giving him any grief at all that would be much appreciated.
Yours,
Marie Cul-Blesse
The Tzar has also given us a copy of his formal reply;
My dear Madam,
I am sorry that your son has taken such words so seriously. However if he is not up to a little criticism then he should never have run for public office in the first place. He should have known exactly what it would entail. Your son has sent threats and attempted to censor the freedom of the press, and I can not have that. I am sorry to say but war has been declared on your nation due to public sentiment. I would suggest fleeing Europe as quickly as possible to avoid becoming a casualty. I had honestly hoped that he would have better judgment than to do such things as he has but unfotunately that is not the case.
Sincerely,
Tzar Dmitri Zloi-Obez'yana
French Dictator's Mother Sends Tzar Letter
Today, the Imperial Palace received a letter from the French Dictator's mother. The Tzar has seen fit to release this letter to the Russian public and the world at large in light of the recent French withdrawal from the world stage. He has also given us this statement; "I must say that this move was rather expected, the French are notorious cowards. How could they possibly expect to stand up to the might of the Russian public's ridicule and disdain." He is also quoted as saying; "The French attempts at harrasment and censorship have not gone unnoticed and a state of war has been declared on the nation of crappy wine, stale bread, and women with hairy armpits." Now without further ado, the letter sent to the Tzar:
My dearest Tzar,
As you well know, my son is a delicate boy. He is not up to trading insults with fine examples of manhood such as yourself. After yours and Turkey's various light-handed jibes were published in your nations newspapers, he immediately took to his room. He has not come out for 12 hours and keeps calling the Servants for more kleenex and chocolate ice cream. I know you have in prior correspondance told him that it is all just in the spirit of fun, but he is far too sensitive to bear even the lightest of jabs. I know you did not mean to hurt his feelings but if you could kindly stop giving him any grief at all that would be much appreciated.
Yours,
Marie Cul-Blesse
The Tzar has also given us a copy of his formal reply;
My dear Madam,
I am sorry that your son has taken such words so seriously. However if he is not up to a little criticism then he should never have run for public office in the first place. He should have known exactly what it would entail. Your son has sent threats and attempted to censor the freedom of the press, and I can not have that. I am sorry to say but war has been declared on your nation due to public sentiment. I would suggest fleeing Europe as quickly as possible to avoid becoming a casualty. I had honestly hoped that he would have better judgment than to do such things as he has but unfotunately that is not the case.
Sincerely,
Tzar Dmitri Zloi-Obez'yana
Here, you hold this jar of acid and the rattlesnake. I've got to hop on the unicycle and get this chainsaw revved up.
- Grimbold
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Re: Diplomacy 3
US President Abraham P. Grim concerned about vitriol in European newspapers.
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Re: Diplomacy 3
The Warsaw Times
Austrians Threaten Borders
The Austrians have sent an army to rest directly on our border, this is very worrying considering the tense nature of diplomatic relations between our two empires. The Tzar fears an imminent attack and calls to his German and Turkish allies to help in halting the Austrian advance which he fears will become an all out attack. In his recent speech on the steps of the Imperial palace he is quoted as saying; "If the Austrians attack us, I shall not rest until the entire nation is burnt to the ground and the earth beneath them is salted. And once negotiations with the Turkish Emir are completed, be assured, we will have enough salt for the task. I will do the deed with a minimum of resources and stress on the Russian people."
Austrians Threaten Borders
The Austrians have sent an army to rest directly on our border, this is very worrying considering the tense nature of diplomatic relations between our two empires. The Tzar fears an imminent attack and calls to his German and Turkish allies to help in halting the Austrian advance which he fears will become an all out attack. In his recent speech on the steps of the Imperial palace he is quoted as saying; "If the Austrians attack us, I shall not rest until the entire nation is burnt to the ground and the earth beneath them is salted. And once negotiations with the Turkish Emir are completed, be assured, we will have enough salt for the task. I will do the deed with a minimum of resources and stress on the Russian people."
Here, you hold this jar of acid and the rattlesnake. I've got to hop on the unicycle and get this chainsaw revved up.
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Re: Diplomacy 3
"TURKISH TRIBUNE"
Turkish Emir Outraged
High counsellor Cahca announced today that Austria will be hard fought for their transgressions towards the Balkan states and agressive actions towards her Russian neighbors. In the same conference Germany's treachery was noted with seething rage. The turkish emir has promised a force of 12,000 goat calvarymen and 16,000 camel born artillary troops to their Russian brethern's defensive actions. Cahca was overheard as saying, "I hear Vienna is lovely this time of year. Perhaps I shall build a summer yurt there next year"...
High counsellor Cahca announced today that Austria will be hard fought for their transgressions towards the Balkan states and agressive actions towards her Russian neighbors. In the same conference Germany's treachery was noted with seething rage. The turkish emir has promised a force of 12,000 goat calvarymen and 16,000 camel born artillary troops to their Russian brethern's defensive actions. Cahca was overheard as saying, "I hear Vienna is lovely this time of year. Perhaps I shall build a summer yurt there next year"...
Last edited by MadVlat on Sat Nov 05, 2011 6:05 am, edited 2 times in total.
...And the stone of the earth and the wind in the sky bowed before the wisdom of the Ancient One...