Fellowship of the Dice

Preussischer Haudegen

KRIEG!

It is now official, the German Empire is at war with his Russian neigbors. The German Chancellor has expressed his deepest sympathies for our Austrian friend in the south and still upholds a deep aversion for any French. While hoping to win the favor of the gorgeous Austrian Queen for him instead of the the French, Germany has promised to help Austria to hold his borders against any invading forces and would also supply our allied comrades-in-arms. When asked why Chancellor Stahlstark came to the decision to threaten and harm our former Russian friend he said: "The 'vodka' they're exporting is not even worth to be used to flush below my ass." Chancellor Hans Stahlstark pointed below his seat in the new Chancellor's Office which is now located in a men's restroom after a prank. Upstaging the prank of his officials he declared that the men's restroom will be the new seat of the German government.

The Russia Reader

Voina!!!

In an act of supreme arrogance and foolishness, the Austrian Army has launched a surprise attack on unsupecting Poland. Thousands of civilians have been killed in the initial surge. Our former allies, the German people, have turned on us, commiting a brazened act of bact stabbing, aided the attack. While the true motives for the cowardly assault remain unclear, it has been rumoured that in the already conquered towns, acts of "Ethnic Cleansing" have begun. these rumours have seemingly been backed up by eyewitness reports of refugees fleeing the war torn area. Our glorious Tzar has issued this speech.

"Yesterday, October 26, 1901, the Russian homeland was suddenly and deliberately attacked by the combined armies of the German and Austrian empires. This cowardly action has killed thousands of innocent civilians and burned once great Warsaw to rubble. The Soldiers garrisoned there were forced to retreat after valiant efforts were made attempting to hold the lines against the vicious and bloodthirsty warmongers.

I vow that these jackbooted warmongering cowards shall not take one more step into our glorious motherland. I have called up our most elite army, the Medvedʹ Kavaleriĭskogo of the Siberian Snegvolkov They will be leading in defensive actions as soon as possible.

I vow to take the fight to our combined enemies, and I shall be in Vienna with the now queen polishing my boots by christmas of next year. As for Germany, There will be no surrender accepted for the backstabbing traitors, I am instituting a policy of Scorched earth and salted land. We will kill the men, take the women, beat the children, and eat the cattle until there is nothing left of that warmongering nation."

The most elite unit, the Medvedʹ kavaleriĭskogo, training last year in the Siberian winter.

Der Friedensbote

Russian people cry for help. Germany and Austria heed their call!

Despicable rumors have arisen that Austrian forces are massacring the freed people from their Russian oppressors. In fact the claims of Austrian cruelty are not only false but have been staged. The murderer men, women and children were all killed by the cruel Russian secret police. It comes as no surprise as many reports indicate these despicable acts are not the exception but common habits. The inhabitants of Russia greeted their liberators with praise and welcomed the supplies that were brought into the country. Fresh food and good clothes were quickly distributed and much more is on their way as the common people in Warsaw were shivering after the tsar's men have taken everything from them.

Unverified stories also tell of startling events. All the so-called French terrorists seem to have been funded by the new Tsar's own government. New light also seems to shine on the demise of the former tsar that was allegedly killed by other terrorists. There are already cries for true justice and doubts about the one remaining survivor of the former tsar's family. Could she be another imposter, planted only to legitimate an evil and cruel successor on the long and glorious line of Russian tsar's? The question will be answered but it will take time as retreating Russian soldiers seem to have been ordered to destroy their own records so that the liberators cannot get their hands on significant evidence.

"TURKISH TRIBUNE" Turkish Emir Announces New summer home Today our illustrious leader announced his purchase of a new summer home in Vienna Austria. Though he stated that the modest home was barely worth the three drachma he paid for it. The accustics however would bring him pleasure as his troops caused the Balkan states usurpers to scream in the night for their transgressions...

"TURKISH TRIBUNE" Turkish Troops Greeted By Austrians As our glorious military marched towards Vienna in a russian relief effort, they were greeted by throngs of well wishers of Austrian descent. Detachments of the 501st goat calvary and 123rd camel artillery units under the command of general Muhamad Al' Quiam; third cousin of the emir, were showered with rose petals and undying gratitude as they made their way through the city's streets. The general was quoted as saying, "Perhaps we shall stay awhile just to make sure the people of Austria are safe from political genocide at the hands of their leaders"...

Das Oktoberblatt

Münchner erzürnt über französische Besatzer

The southern regions of the German Empire are suprised and angered by their French visitors. Citizens demand that the smell of cheese and cheap wine will cease and ask their government why no one has done anything to prevent France forces from occupying the festival grounds. Of course the people can understand the French's desire for decent food and beer and welcome tourists every fall but not their armed forces. The local governor is now warning France: for every French soldier that invades a home in search for the grand German cuisine the German Empire will burn a French city. The new policy "One city for every house" has been met with great acclaim.

In other news the German Chancellor has sent his troops south and into Italy as he intends to sample Italian food after he's fed up with Kaiserschmarrn and excuses. Many high-ranking officers have welcomed this policy hoping for more variety while they have to supervise the yet undefeated German armies, freeing oppressed poulations. Another warning goes out to the French king as Germany will not stand and watch France forcing the Italians to adopt cheap, frauded wine.

Paris Gazette

French Prime Minster found dead after eating some bad German food. French inspectors begin house by house search in Munich for the culprit. Foul play suspected, but "it could just be bad cooking, we can't rule that out either."