Walking Da Streets of Hoplessness....

HOL (Human Occupied Landfill)

What is HoL? Ever been to New Jersey? Okay, now add some high technology and make a planet out of it. HoL is the New Jersey* of the Confederation of Worlds (COW).

Yes, for in the future, the Galaxy is fully colonized and sub-let, and the COW, governing jointly with The Church has designated a small, once green world to be the Galactic trash bin. And, as it turns out, it happens to be a pretty handy place to dump shiploads of raving, murderous, pedophillic, sociopathic, genocidic, anti-establishmentalist, drooling psychos bent on stuffing old ladies into wood-chippers, as well as a good number of excess accountants. Welcome home...Run by jigglypuff69
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jigglypuff69
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Walking Da Streets of Hoplessness....

Post by jigglypuff69 » Wed Jan 18, 2012 6:31 am

In the grim darkenss of the future, there is only HoL...

258 hours. That's how long all of you Confederate prisoners have been bound, chained, oiled and soiled upon the prison barge, Wrecked Her, Damn Near Killed Her!!!, one of the hundreds of ships that deposit the refuse of society onto their new home when Rupert or Big Stevie see fit. Locked in the bowels of the ship, and let's face it... better it's bowels than someone else's, the hours have dragged by. It's dark, not the usual kind of darkness, but the low-income kind. As if they didn't care to spend enough in designer dark, even though they know it's your last ride. Damn them...

It smells, too. Like asparagas piss, but no one remembers eating any. Where did they get this piece of space junk anyways? Is there no end to the torture? That's when the guards get creative and decide to give an impromptu concert by blasting Tiffany's "I think we're alone now..." throughout the prisoner decks. Several men immediately go shithouse rat crazy and bang their heads against the bulkhead, ending their misery. The rest are left to anguish in the loosely named 'music', hoping the ride to HoL ends before your sanity.

On the end of a bench sit three men, chained for their crimes and awaiting their sentence of HoL to start. "Thumbs", "Two-Dick" and Dr. Thetic linger in the dark, not knowing what's going on around them, but guessing at it by the wet sounds coming from the right. A guard walks by, the tell-tale scent of Old Splice wafting after him. A man seated next to "Two-Dick" howls in pain as th eguard thumps him in the groin with a rusty pipe. He walks away laughing, leaving the man crying softly...
Welcome to the game Eanwulf, Hayabusa and MadVlat!!! So you journey begins. Post away and let us get the ball rollin'!!!
Last edited by jigglypuff69 on Wed Aug 22, 2012 7:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.
I am the voice of Never Never Land, the innocence of every man, I am the empty crib of Peter Pan. A silent kite against the blue, blue sky, every chimney every moonlit sight. I am the story that will read you real, every memory that you hold dear...

MadVlat
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Re: Time to go on a HoL-iday....

Post by MadVlat » Wed Jan 18, 2012 7:57 am

Nice intro, that be some funny shit!!!
The muscle bound Atlas Taggerty sits quietly snickering to himself as the guard crushes the jello rapists testicles with the rusted pipe, before turning to his cousin Two Dicks. "Don't sweat it he might heal. I can't say I blame him for his crime, because everybody loves jello"...
...And the stone of the earth and the wind in the sky bowed before the wisdom of the Ancient One...

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Eanwulf
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Re: Time to go on a HoL-iday....

Post by Eanwulf » Wed Jan 18, 2012 9:57 am

Tommy plays it cool enough. Though inside he's laughing his ass off. "Nothing beats a peanut butter sandwich." the three headed one-time celebrity comments quietly to his cousin in response. "Sandwich..." "Sandwich..." Tommy's two other heads likewise comment. "Besides," Tommy continues to prattle, his main set of eyes carefully following the guard's path along the prison ship. "No matter how much these sick fuckers cry, you know damned well that deep down inside of them, they really like it!" "I don't care what they say, they like it." "I don't care what they say, they like it." the two other heads promptly add.
When Life Hands You Razorblades. You Make A Baseball Bat Covered In Razorblades!

MadVlat
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Re: Time to go on a HoL-iday....

Post by MadVlat » Wed Jan 18, 2012 9:25 pm

"I'm pretty sure those guards are pretty on hands with their pipes, and you never know if there are crickets on board. So if I was you I would watch the language for now", Atlas chimes. The former commercial spokesman and network man handler serious as a heart attack when addressing his cousin...
...And the stone of the earth and the wind in the sky bowed before the wisdom of the Ancient One...

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Hayabusa
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Re: Time to go on a HoL-iday....

Post by Hayabusa » Wed Jan 18, 2012 10:17 pm

"Ah, you could always repair that kind of damage," Dr. Thetic says as the guard is gone or at least out of earshot. He tends to speak about them only when they're absent since he doesn't want to get his face bashed in. A lot of hours of work went into it. "As long as you don't leak inside yourself you're good. It's aaaaall superficial. Besides, cutting the mangled parts off is always a solution. Nowadays you can replace them with better things anyway. Of course you need the right tools. And time. And money."
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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

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Re: Time to go on a HoL-iday....

Post by jigglypuff69 » Wed Jan 18, 2012 10:58 pm

The jello rapist continues to cry for a bit then speaks quietly in a voice a few octaves higher than it was minutes ago, "It was just sittin' there... looking up at me from dat bowl. Who can blame a guy? Aaaaaaaahhhh... How was I supposed to know they weren't done with it? It was my favorite too, snozberry!"

A guard passes by a second time, pausing in front of the gelatinous dessert defilier and raises his pipe. The little man cries out, "Not in the face, Not in the face!!!" The guard laughs and lowers the pipe, pointing at the man. "I'ma gonna be back in ten. I'll smack ya around then.", and leaves. A sigh comes out of the mime sitting next to Atlas, the most noise his pet has made in some time. The little cruller eatin' ninja clown still wears it's leash that wrapped firmly around Atlas' wrist. They may be going to HoL, but there's still laws. And no one can stomach a mime running loose, even there.

The man looks over at you three in the dark, "SO... whatcha all in for? Slapping a croisant, making sweet and slow love to a doughnut's hole? Maybe grinding on a sheet cake without permission..." It's clear to see where this man's desires lay. Without even asking you can tell his origins are on Pilsbury III.
I am the voice of Never Never Land, the innocence of every man, I am the empty crib of Peter Pan. A silent kite against the blue, blue sky, every chimney every moonlit sight. I am the story that will read you real, every memory that you hold dear...

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Re: Time to go on a HoL-iday....

Post by Eanwulf » Wed Jan 18, 2012 11:23 pm

Tommy glares at the guy with swollen nuts, responding. "I ain't done nothing but my job man! I'm no criminal!" "I'm not a crook!", "I'm not a crook!" replies the former porn star's additional heads.
Go go Tricky Dick quotations! I go a whole website full of them :)
Last edited by Eanwulf on Thu Jan 19, 2012 1:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Time to go on a HoL-iday....

Post by Hayabusa » Thu Jan 19, 2012 12:57 am

"Not much," Thetic replies to the guard. "In fact I helped people out, removing what they didn't like on their body. And some experimental surgery. For the good of all humanity. Of course you're judged for what you did and not the results later. The world just doesn't appreciate a genius," the man shrugs.
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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

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Re: Time to go on a HoL-iday....

Post by jigglypuff69 » Thu Jan 19, 2012 1:56 am

"Don't I know it. Just last week I was saying to my self, 'Oi, I wish someone would appreciate the art and personal cost involved in the seduction of a danish.' Not the people, the Danes mind you, but the pastry." At this point the guard walks buy and smiles, "Times up, Cream..." Raising up his rusty pipe, the guard brings it down once, twice, three times a lady on the poor bastard's nuts. With the last blow you all swear you hear something like a stress-ball being ripped apart by angry hermit crabs. Cream screams in castrato and and the guard laughs as he walks away. Not before giving the mime, Chauncey a good slap. "Damn, mimes..."

When the ringing in your ears stops and Cream's cries die down, he clears his throat and goes back to your polite conversation. "I guess ya heard my nickname there. Real name is Phil. Phil Ling, that is. Friends call me Cream. What's your handle, Phil asks in a voice akin to the Vienna Boy's Choir.
I am the voice of Never Never Land, the innocence of every man, I am the empty crib of Peter Pan. A silent kite against the blue, blue sky, every chimney every moonlit sight. I am the story that will read you real, every memory that you hold dear...

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Eanwulf
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Re: Time to go on a HoL-iday....

Post by Eanwulf » Thu Jan 19, 2012 2:06 am

"Tommy Two-Dicks!" replies Thomas. His main face smiling. Not at the man's suffering mind you, but at his own trademark and patented household name instead. "Two-Dicks..." "Richard..." the two heads add in interval.

Well maybe a bit at the man's suffering. Who knows...
When Life Hands You Razorblades. You Make A Baseball Bat Covered In Razorblades!

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